This is the last sketch of Season 2 Episode 1.Looks like Operation Stop Mallory From Breaking Up With Jason was a huge success. Mallory: I knew we should have done this over the phone. Hey, I'm just going to get your present and then I'll be right back, okay? My conscience is screaming at me, along with my ribs. Matt: I'm sorry, Butterfly, you got to date him for at least two more weeks. Whitney: I mean, what kind of sick, twisted person would do that? Whitney: I mean, can you believe she broke up with him a year ago today? I mean, it was his birthday, first of all, and the day his dog died. Matt: Okay, we can still pull through on this. Whitney: Anyway, you'll be good to my Jason, okay? Between you and me, the last girl he dated practically ripped his heart out, so I'm glad he's dating you now. Whitney: And that's why I always carry a brick in my purse. Matt: Hello there! I am in the neighborhood today to rob you. I'm mobilizing, here comes the distraction. Matt: Okay, we have engaged multiple hostiles. Hi! It is so good to finally meet you! We have heard so much about you! We are losing control of the conversation, Butterfly, we need to regain. Jason: What are you going to call him? It looks like a Toby to me. Matt: Oh no, don't let him bring out any presents, Butterfly, stop this. Jason: I was going to wait to give you this, but I can't wait. Matt: Oh! Red alert! The L-word has entered the conversation! We need to regroup. Jason: It's okay, to be honest, I've kind of seen this coming for a long time now. Mallory: This isn't easy for me, just like cheese isn't easy for me to digest. Matt: Good, now transition from that to breaking up with him. Mallory: Stop! I want to talk about cheese. Matt: Okay, you need to stop him from talking and change the subject. Mallory: Of course today is your special day too, seeing how it's our six-month anniversary. Mallory: I know, but I really want to break up. Mallory: I'm sorry, I have to! I can't live in a lie! If he's anything like me, he's going to cry. Matt: Are you sure you want to continue with this? It's not going to be pretty. You think about it, I'll go get my jacket. Jason: Hey, do you want to go get something to eat? I was thinking Italian. Matt: Oh, I don't know, have you thought of Facebook? Matt: I did not sign up for this, Butterfly! Today is his birthday? Mallory: No, no, I don't forget things like that. Matt: You are the devil, I repeat, you are the devil. Jason: I was beginning to think that you had forgotten that today was my birthday. Mallory: Oh yeah, well, I just wanted to talk to you. Commence Operation Scarring Emotional Pain. Mallory: No, you're just making me feel worse about this. Matt: This is Mongoose, come in, Heartbreaker. Mallory: I'm just worried that I'll lose my nerve, I feel like he's a lot more invested in this relationship than I am.
Matt: Sure, what are friends for, if not to help you end other friendships. Mallory: Thanks for helping me do this, Matt. Watch as Matt goes undercover to help Mallory break up with her boyfriend. Breakups are always hard to initiate, especially when the other person is more invested than you are.
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